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OPINION: This piece won’t mention You Know Who

OPINION: This piece won’t mention You Know Who

“Call him Voldemort, Harry. Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone 

In the Harry Potter books, the worst thing you could do was to call out Voldemort by his name. As your five-year-old will tell you, Voldemort was the leader of all the evil wizards in Harry’s witchy world. During V’s rise to power, witches and wizards refused to mention his name over fear of its inherent evil power. In other words, just saying the name could make grown wizards quake in their pointy boots. 

I do have a point so just hang with me here. I happen to disagree with author Rowling’s quote. Saying an evil person’s name actually can conjure up bad feelings and worse. That person may never go away. I’m superstitious so, this piece won’t mention You Know Who by name.

The Branding King made sure that the more we heard his name, the better his image. That’s why we saw his name on steaks, a fake university, a tacky cologne, and garish golf resorts. 

But as the niece of He with the Disheveled Rug of Gold cautioned us, the one thing he fears is becoming “irrelevant.” That’s why He Who Won’t Go Away keeps hanging on. 

As much as he rails against the American press, He Who Whines Incessantly needs the attention. We hope that he will eventually curl up in a fetal position and retire to his bed.  

Of course, that won’t happen. Even though the plethora of election court cases is another waste of taxpayer money, He Who Irritates remains big news. There’s talk of another presidential run in 2024. There are pipe dreams about a brand new network. 

There’s a new Super PAC that’s on track to raise almost $90 million. This PAC is supposed to help other Republican down-ballot races. But historically campaign money, even funds from his so-called “non-profit,” have worked their way into Mr. Big Stuff’s ailing businesses. 

As Republicans conjure up voter fraud where it doesn’t exist, the press can shut down some of the noise. Lots of Republicans won races on Election Day. Yet, not one Republican has questioned those wins as tainted by “fraud.” So, as long as Republicans win, it’s all good. Win Democrats win, it’s a conspiracy. 

The American press bears lots of responsibility for the craziness of the previous administration. After all, He Who Never Shuts the Hell Up benefited from millions of dollars of free press during his first run.

The recent Democratic victory reflects fatigue with all the noise. But at least even Fox is finally getting with the program. From completely cutting away from baseless election accusations during a press conference to Twitter blocking erroneous claims, we’re done. The Voice of Endless Lies has, without doubt, changed the Republican Party. But, with this election win, we at least have a chance to give our ears (and our spirits) a break. 

For a change, the press can work with Americans instead of against them. The more the press plays up desperate attention grabs, the more it dilutes important messaging by our new president-elect Biden. With his dynamic new coronavirus team, we need the press to focus on things that will save American lives. People are facing eviction, homelessness, hunger, and death. That’s real talk. 

I hope the American press will prioritize what’s really important after January 4, 2021. And it shouldn’t include back-to-back coverage about You Know Who. 

Thumbnail Credit: Charles Deluvio/Unsplash (images may be subject to copyright)

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I love telling, reading, and writing stories. I freelance as a writer, editor, and all-around trouble-maker. I live in Atlanta with my dogs, Jaco, and Trane.

One thought on “OPINION: This piece won’t mention You Know Who

  1. I agree whole heartedly. As they always say the squeaky wheel gets the oil so as long as you know who continues to squeak then the news media will continue to oil. Like you mentioned I hope they find better things to report on.

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