Mkay — it’s finale time. Whose furrowed brow will emerge heavier by the crown of Waystar Roy Co.? Who will be the happiest boar on the floor?
It’s time to pick your fighter. Will Tom finally sign the divorce papers and wed his beloved Greg Sprinkles? Will Shiv get the opportunity to puppeteer for Mattson? Is Romulus Goeeble’s impersonation good enough to get him and Menkyn to the top? Will Kendall figure out how to not self-implode?
Maybe, maybe, Logan will rise from the dead. It wouldn’t be the first time something like this has happened.
Whatever the outcome, it’s just nice to see the family coming together. And the Succession-heads have all grown unhealthy allegiances over the past four seasons. Now, as the sun sets on the most lovable basket of Grendals, Caines, and Brutuses (Brutai?), many are weighing in on whose hands they’d prefer to steer Waystar’s cruise ships. But remember, as Shakespeare once said, expectation is at the root of all heartache (although, he didn’t actually say that).
Anyways, I don’t know who it’ll be, nor do I care all that much; I’m an along-for-the-ride type. But below are some of the top character-related tweets, memes, utterances, and quips ahead of tonight’s finale.
Father’s Day is coming up; Kendall has big plans: rabbits, a dozen Panera bagels, the kids, a tub of scallion cream cheese. Or, maybe, he’ll get the top dawg spot, in which case he might forget the kids and go do more work — all for their sake, ofc.
Give Sarah her Emmy; now, before something nasty happens.
Season four has been crammed with peak scenes from Shiv the Terrible. (Asking Greg if he’s attracted to her? C’mon now.) However. Is stellar acting the key to winning the number-one spot? Some might say yes. If so, Shivvy could do it.
The show’s snippiest sack-o-snark took a fall in the penultimate episode. But his meltdown did wonders to cast a forgetful fog over his reputation of giggling with fascists.
Of all the main characters, Roman might be in the trickiest spot to maneuver. But hey, if anyone is a bootleg Logan…
The man who had the audacity to eat the chicken. Many are pulling for the Minessota rube who sacrificed all principles to climb to the top of the shit heap.
Anti-nepo-baby crowd, make your noise. Because Tom might be the killer we deserve.
The kid’s come a long way from vomming inside a Micky Mouse costume. Now, he’s touring NYC’s most unseemly venues with the tech Gods. Will cousin Greg somehow continue his wriggle upward, as he’s done for four straight seasons?
Dark Horse Picks
Now for a couple of dark horse picks, and those we wish had a shot.
Don’t argue: she’s the most deserving of them all. And deep down, you know it’s true.
Don’t be ridiculous…
He is the eldest son, after all…But it was Jacob that got the best of Esau. At the very least, he is a character we want to have a happy ending.
Also, breaking news: The Conheads are on the move.